FESTIVALS UNITED COMMUNITY
19.03.2003 18:50
THE IRAQUIZ
The coming war is almost upon us – and thank God for that! It's been
almost a year and a half since the last one and we were getting bored
with all those reruns of "Friends". And while you wait for the
fireworks, why not kill some time with the IraQuiz?!
Question 1: Where is Iraq?
A. In the Middle East.
B. In the Midwest.
C. On top of a huge reservoir of valuable oil
D. In your way if you're a hardline-Republican.
Answers (sort of)
A. That's what you think - but most Americans would disagree. A Daily
Mirror survey revealed that only one in seven aged between 18 and 24
could identify Saddam Hussein's land on a map. One in ten couldn't
pick out America!
B. See A.
C. Yup, Iraq's got the world's second largest oil reserves, but don't
let that distract you! We want only to bring them freedom and
democracy.
D. Yup – the 'hawks' of the current administration have been drafting
policy proposals to attack Iraq long before 9/11, like "Project for a
New American Century" from Sep 2000. In fact Cheney, Wolfowitz,
Rumsfeld and the rest of the gang have been pretty obsessed about
trashing Iraq at least since the mid-90's. Maybe Saddam once said
something rude about their mamas?
Question 2: Saddam Hussein must be overthrown because he
A. Is producing Weapons of Mass Destruction.
B. Has a bad moustache.
C. Tried to assassinate Dubya's daddy!
D. Is sitting on a huge reservoir of oil.
Answers:
A. Maybe, but they sure are hard to find. (Recently UN weapons
inspectors have described US intelligence data on where to find
Saddam's hidden weapons as "garbage" - leading to one dead end after
another - CBS News Feb 21.)
B. That's not such a bad reason, actually. Still, 3000 cruise missiles
in the first day just to hit *one* guy …
C. He did. BAD boy!!
D. See 1.C
Question 3: We know for sure that Saddam has *had* WMDs – but how did
he get them?
A. Through a mail order-catalogue
B. At www.realwmdsthatllblowyouway.com
C. From firms in the US, UK and other Western countries.
D. Who cares?! Let's bomb!!
Answers:
A. Nope.
B. How do you know he didn't? There's a looot of strange stuff
floating on the Internet …
C. Yup. Back in the happy ‘80's, when we really wanted to get the
Iranians (and earn some bucks in the process).
D. ...
Question 4: We know Saddam Hussein is evil because
A. He's repeatedly shown in news footage firing a rifle into the air,
clearly unconcerned about where the bullet will come down.
B. He invaded Kuwait and tried to steal our oil.
C. He tried to build nuclear weapons before we blew up his factories
in 1991.
D. He used poison gas on his own people - even though we specifically
told him to use it only on the Iranians.
Answers:
A. Yes, but he has promised the UN (and his mum) not to do it (so
much) anymore.
B. He did! But we beat the crap out of him, so he'll probably think
twice before trying again. (See 6.C.)
C. Yup and this time, if he really causes us trouble, *we* are gonna
use nukes. Then Saddam can have all the nuclear energy he wants (for
about 3 seconds).
D. Saddam killed 5000 Kurds in Northern Iraq in '88 with mustard gas.
Back then it didn't seem like such a big deal that we had to go to
war, though.
Question 5: How does Iraq pose a threat to us?
A. By supporting terrorists.
B. By shooting at our surveillance planes.
C. By threatening our peace-loving allies in the region
D. By threatening our oil supply.
Answers:
A. Maybe. The ‘evidence' would probably only hold up in a court of
Zimbabwe, though. (See also 2. A. and 8.B.)
B. How dare he?! Does he know how much a super stealth bomber actually
costs these days?!
C. - like Israel (‘humane' policy towards equally ‘peace-loving'
Palestinians) and Saudi-Arabia (‘excellent' human rights records).
D. See 1.C
Question 6: How many people will die if we go to war with Iraq?
A. None - we use "smart bombs" and target only military installations.
B. None - we target only Saddam!
C. Up to 250,000 – *not* including our boys and girls in uniforms.
D. What kind of question is that?! I didn't see any "dead people" the
last time TV showed a war …
Answers:
A. In the last Gulf War of 1991 over 90% of all bombs dropped were
‘dumb' and only 25% of those hit their (intended) target. Whoups!
B. With 3000 cruise missiles!! (We don't wanna miss him, like Osama!)
C. Yes, according to estimates from the UN and UK humanitarian
organisations. The last war killed about 5500 Iraqi civilians, 250,000
Iraqi soldiers and some hundred coalition soldiers. But that's just
2500:1. This time we can do even better!!
D. ...
Question 7: The biggest beneficiary of war on Iraq would be
A. Republicans' re-election hopes.
B. The US arms industry.
C. Iraq's own oppressed people (or, at least, the survivors).
D. The oil ind- oh, never mind …
Answers:
A. It worked in the mid-terms, didn't it?
B. Yup - the Congress Budget Committee estimates that the total cost
of war could exceed 60 billion dollars. And they are not all for extra
chocolate in US Marines field rations.
C. See 6.C
D. ...
Question 8: Has anyone proven that Iraq was linked to the terrible
tragedy of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on America?
A. Huh?
B. Not yet.
C. Who cares? Bomb 'em to smithereens.
D. They're sitting on huge reservoirs of oil!
Answers:
A. ---
B. Sorry, we still can't link Saddam to 9/11. Most of the hijackers
came from Saudi-Arabia, though. But they are our allies, so all is
forgiven ...
C. See 1.D.
D. See 1. C.
---------------------------
Thank you for taking the IraQuiz! We hope the time before the show
feels a little shorter now.
